Boris, he won’t

Johnson may be a political scoundrel, but he's also a rhetorical raconteur, qualified to keynote a speechwriters conference.

We keep hearing that Boris Johnson is the United Kindgomโ€™s version of Donald Trump. Why do they get the rhetorically sophisticated one?

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Even if the new prime ministerโ€™s political agenda is as messed up as his mopโ€”professionalย speechwriters will inevitably beย charmed (if not intimidated)ย by this rhetorical raconteur. Writes the emcee of an event where Johnson was supposed to speak:

It was an awards ceremony at the Hilton, Park Lane. The room was packed with financial people in bow ties. โ€ฆ Right now [Johnson] was due to make a funny speech.

In four minutes.

There I was, at 9:26pm, sitting with a table-load of London bankers, trying to answer their questions. โ€œWill Boris actually arrive?โ€ โ€œIs he normally this late?โ€ โ€œHas he got lost?โ€

I answered them all as best I could:

(a) Iโ€™m sorry
(b) I donโ€™t know
(c) I donโ€™t see Boris Johnson that often

โ€ฆ Suddenlyโ€”BOOM. A rush of wind from an opened door, a golden mop, a heave of body and dinner jacket onto the chair next to mine, and the breathless question, at 9:28pm: โ€œJEREMY. Where exactly AM I?โ€

Do not fail to read the storyย of how Johnson brought the house down with a speech that seemed hilariously chaotic but was actually entirely canned. (Thanks to PSA member and star Chicago speechwriter Elizabeth Austin for the steer.)

And if you think Johnsonโ€™s self-save was a fluke, think again. The dude could keynote a speechwriters conference. Here, his rhetorical erudition reduces his interlocutor to helpless giggles.

Iโ€™m quite sure Iโ€™m politicallly opposed to Boris Johnson. But Iโ€™m rhetorically smitten, God help me.ย โ€”DM

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