It was bound to happen. Somebody was going to realize that speechwriting and rocket science are two different disciplines. An entrepreneurial-minded fellow, probably a young attorney always found writing to be pretty easy, was inevitably going to create a speechwriting service that would turn out great speeches fast and cheap, thus exposing an entire profession for a bunch of hopelessly spoiled, outmoded laggards.
Behold speeches4less.com, the site where you can get a speech in five days for $5 per 500 words. (Corporate speeches run a little more, naturally. They start at $5 per 500 words.)
I know, right? Scary stuff!
I used the site’s Quote Request Form to ask for a 3,000-word keynote speech for a speechwriting conference, where I plan to announce the end of the speechwriting profession as we know it. “I’d like to have it as soon as possible, because I want to start rehearsing it right away. As you can imagine, it’s going to come as quite an unpleasant shock to professional speechwriters, and I want to have this talk DOWN!”
“Thanks for requesting a corporate speechwriting quote. We appreciate your interest in our services.”
I’ll keep you posted, my friends. —Paul Revere