The “H” word

Itโ€™s a dangerous word.

We can argue that it shouldnโ€™t be said at all.

Professional athletes donโ€™t say โ€œchokeโ€ and professional writers donโ€™t say โ€œhack.โ€

Itโ€™s because weโ€™re afraid of itโ€”weโ€™re all afraid of itโ€”of writing so much glib, facile, shallow prose that we can never become sincere again.

I often repeat the old line, โ€œIโ€™m faster than the writers who are better than me, and better than the writers who are faster than me.โ€

I laugh, to hide my fear.

But what is a hack, exactly? I recently told readers of my personal blog that a hack is โ€ฆ someone who with a straight face calls the new corporate podcast โ€œslightly irreverent,โ€ the new employee video โ€œkind of funโ€ and the CEOโ€™s blog โ€œa bit edgyโ€ โ€ฆ someone who declares in print or in person that he or she is โ€œpassionate about brandingโ€ โ€ฆ someone who talks incessantly about how the purpose of his or her flaccid prose is to create โ€œbehavior change.โ€

My readers added that โ€œhacks talk about adding โ€˜the wow factor,โ€™โ€ and โ€œhacks describe their writing as โ€˜working their magic.โ€™โ€

All of which let us feel superior for a day, and safe.

But those arenโ€™t the real signs youโ€™re becoming a hack.

The real signs are:

  • Everything you write turns into a quick introduction and then a series of bullet points.
  • It pains you to see really good work by other writers, and you make excuses for why you canโ€™t write stuff like that.
  • Youโ€™re so used to writing fast, you canโ€™t slow down when it comes time to write something thoughtful. Secretly, perhaps, you fear that stopping to think will invite writerโ€™s blockโ€”the amateur poetโ€™s luxury, your terminal disease.
  • When was the last time you stood up for a single passage or idea in a speech? You canโ€™t remember.
  • Your real fearsโ€”all your real feelingsโ€”are becoming secrets to you because itโ€™s impossible to be simultaneously sad that your writing career has come to this, and passionate about branding.
  • Pleasing your speaker is all that matters.
  • You find yourself asking, โ€œWhat would a sincere person write?โ€
  • You really donโ€™t care whether itโ€™s โ€œlightningโ€ or โ€œlightning bug.โ€
  • And saying, โ€œAw, nobodyโ€™s gonna read this anyway.โ€ The honest writerโ€™s deepest fear, the hackโ€™s only comfort.

But if we have corporate clients, we do have to write an awful lot of tripe thatโ€”weโ€™re rightโ€”nobodyโ€™s gonna read anyway (or, in the case of the speech, listen to).

How can we possibly avoid becoming hacks?

For starters, we read magazine articles and books written by non-hacks.

We must also write about subjects other than branding for audiences far away from the corporate worldโ€”people who donโ€™t even pretend to know the meaning of โ€œworld class.โ€

In our corporate writing, we insist (as E.E. Cummingsโ€™ reluctant soldier Olaf did almost ceaselessly repeat) โ€œthere is some shit I will not eat.โ€ Perhaps we refuse to pair the words โ€œchallengesโ€ and โ€œopportunitiesโ€ in any one sentence. Or maybe we quietly draw the line on this side of using โ€œimpactโ€ as a verb. Or maybe we refuse to write, even in an informal speech text, โ€œHopefully.โ€ The point is, we maintain some standardsโ€”and in doing so hold onto ourselves.

And we worryโ€”we worry about becoming a hack, and as long as weโ€™re worrying we know we are not there yet.

Arenโ€™t you relieved?

Well, I should hope not.

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