The “H” word
January 26, 2010
Itโs a dangerous word.
We can argue that it shouldnโt be said at all.
Professional athletes donโt say โchokeโ and professional writers donโt say โhack.โ
Itโs because weโre afraid of itโweโre all afraid of itโof writing so much glib, facile, shallow prose that we can never become sincere again.
I often repeat the old line, โIโm faster than the writers who are better than me, and better than the writers who are faster than me.โ
I laugh, to hide my fear.
But what is a hack, exactly? I recently told readers of my personal blog that a hack is โฆ someone who with a straight face calls the new corporate podcast โslightly irreverent,โ the new employee video โkind of funโ and the CEOโs blog โa bit edgyโ โฆ someone who declares in print or in person that he or she is โpassionate about brandingโ โฆ someone who talks incessantly about how the purpose of his or her flaccid prose is to create โbehavior change.โ
My readers added that โhacks talk about adding โthe wow factor,โโ and โhacks describe their writing as โworking their magic.โโ
All of which let us feel superior for a day, and safe.
But those arenโt the real signs youโre becoming a hack.
The real signs are:
- Everything you write turns into a quick introduction and then a series of bullet points.
- It pains you to see really good work by other writers, and you make excuses for why you canโt write stuff like that.
- Youโre so used to writing fast, you canโt slow down when it comes time to write something thoughtful. Secretly, perhaps, you fear that stopping to think will invite writerโs blockโthe amateur poetโs luxury, your terminal disease.
- When was the last time you stood up for a single passage or idea in a speech? You canโt remember.
- Your real fearsโall your real feelingsโare becoming secrets to you because itโs impossible to be simultaneously sad that your writing career has come to this, and passionate about branding.
- Pleasing your speaker is all that matters.
- You find yourself asking, โWhat would a sincere person write?โ
- You really donโt care whether itโs โlightningโ or โlightning bug.โ
- And saying, โAw, nobodyโs gonna read this anyway.โ The honest writerโs deepest fear, the hackโs only comfort.
But if we have corporate clients, we do have to write an awful lot of tripe thatโweโre rightโnobodyโs gonna read anyway (or, in the case of the speech, listen to).
How can we possibly avoid becoming hacks?
For starters, we read magazine articles and books written by non-hacks.
We must also write about subjects other than branding for audiences far away from the corporate worldโpeople who donโt even pretend to know the meaning of โworld class.โ
In our corporate writing, we insist (as E.E. Cummingsโ reluctant soldier Olaf did almost ceaselessly repeat) โthere is some shit I will not eat.โ Perhaps we refuse to pair the words โchallengesโ and โopportunitiesโ in any one sentence. Or maybe we quietly draw the line on this side of using โimpactโ as a verb. Or maybe we refuse to write, even in an informal speech text, โHopefully.โ The point is, we maintain some standardsโand in doing so hold onto ourselves.
And we worryโwe worry about becoming a hack, and as long as weโre worrying we know we are not there yet.
Arenโt you relieved?
Well, I should hope not.