The Rand Paul satire speech that I would like to plagiarize

Did you see where Rand Paul gave a speech about his plagiarism scandal?

“Failure is not an option,” he said. “We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. I won't back down. No, I won't back down. I'll stand my ground. … So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. We run things—things don't run we. We don't take nothing from nobody. We try harder.”

No, I didn’t write that satire. Chez Pazienza did.

But it sounds like something I would write.

Doesn't it? —DM